she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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