If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize