im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
