Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
