My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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