just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Oh god it's open bar.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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