The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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