I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.