I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
