Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.

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(440): he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever. http://tfl.nu/ykgr

Replies (64) Good night (9702) Bad night (927) Order T-Shirt
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(973): View more from New Jersey

so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.

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(973): so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning. http://tfl.nu/luil

Replies (65) Good night (1217) Bad night (6734) Order T-Shirt
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(216): View more from Ohio

oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.

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(216): oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs. http://tfl.nu/udb9

Replies (28) Good night (641) Bad night (5970) Order T-Shirt
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

She kept screaming "best case scenario"

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(902): She kept screaming "best case scenario" http://tfl.nu/vv3n

Replies (7) Good night (2832) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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(778): View more from British Columbia

When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

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(778): When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back. http://tfl.nu/pu4u

Replies (18) Good night (4270) Bad night (1961) Order T-Shirt
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(410): View more from Maryland

i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail

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(410): i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail http://tfl.nu/uma4

Replies (9) Good night (908) Bad night (2007) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here

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(303): there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here http://tfl.nu/yv0c

Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.

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(518): You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come. http://tfl.nu/a590

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(914): View more from New York

Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off

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(914): Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off http://tfl.nu/fxgn

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...

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(504): I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off... http://tfl.nu/wbci

Replies (10) Good night (2009) Bad night (461)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted

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(843): I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted http://tfl.nu/7fyh

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(302): View more from Delaware

Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate

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(302): Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate http://tfl.nu/9c8c

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.

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(920): If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter. http://tfl.nu/ujgb

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(865): View more from Tennessee

No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.

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(865): No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP. http://tfl.nu/2htz

Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.

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(617): I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities. http://tfl.nu/2ow7

Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt

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