Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
