I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
