This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
