You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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