I skipped work to stalk him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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