I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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