69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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