please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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