The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
