real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize