I love black thongs
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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