i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
