i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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