i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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