Non-Jews are for practice
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
