Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize