Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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