Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
