East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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