glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
