I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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