Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
im holly from the hills drunk
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
