that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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