Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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