i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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