She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
