you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize