I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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