ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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