oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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