I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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