hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
