i was born a porn star she said
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize