There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
