If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
