Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
