Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
