There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
