Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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