Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
