On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
