You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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