This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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