His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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