At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
