sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
