Your dad touched me again.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
