you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
