About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
