I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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