I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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