I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
