can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize