If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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