The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
