grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
