I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
