I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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