smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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