you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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